I have lately been baffled when it comes to the topic of friends. The friends I have in my life are few but loyal and I wouldn’t have it any other way. My friends have put me in my place when I needed it and vice versa. I have always tried to be open and honest with them because what is the point of having a fake friend? Luckily, I have friends that know I come from a good place whenever I have something to tell them that they may not want to hear.
However, looking at other people’s friendships with one another sometimes is just mind blowing. I don’t understand how you can be someone’s friend but not be able to tell them the truth or tell them what they can’t see for themselves. For instance, when a friend is doing something that is more toxic than good in their life – I will be the one to say hey maybe this isn’t the best because look at how it is affecting this/that/whatever….are you sure you want to keep continuing to go down this route? I will always be a support system, but I will still try to at least make them really think about their decision. While others see the wrongs but are afraid to say it because of how their friend will react. HUH? I mean it doesn’t even have to be considered a “close” friend, it can just be a “friend” but regardless how is that considered friendship?
The people I may just hang out with for just fun are a completely different story. These are the people that okay sure, they may be a friend but they are not my confidants, they aren’t going to be the ones I go to for advice or go to when I am in a low place; therefore, I have that boundary drawn of different levels of myself I will allow them to reach. I am not referring to these types of people.
I am referring to the ones that you talk to almost on a daily, that you share secrets with, can turn to in hard times, etc. I have seen this; I don’t know who many times since moving to Michigan….is this a Michigan thing?? JK! But seriously, how can you say someone is your friend but can’t be honest with them? Both parties are at fault. The person who cannot take constructive criticism or cannot see their wrong doings is a whole other person but the person who is holding back is also at fault for not sharing their thoughts. And if these thoughts are beneficial to your friend, how are you justifying it to yourself that you are their friend when you allow them to go down a path that is harmful without saying anything?
Friendship should be built on mutual respect and should be equal. Friends aren’t always going to see eye to eye and will have disagreements (we are all human) but in the end, friends are friends because they know no matter what, that person will always have their back. It shouldn’t be just one sided or where one person “gives” but only out the expectation that the other will “give back” – WHAT? That is not how friendship works or doing something out of the goodness of your heart – it is actually pretty laughable to even have this mentality. I don’t mean to be negative about this topic, I just needed to shed some light on how healthy friendships are supposed to work and if the friendship isn’t a positive aspect in your life (or has a positive impact) than what is the point of having it?